Can You Add A Single Hour Of Life?

I received a comment today on my entry entitled Lose Your Life to Find It. And I must say I was very surprised by the comment. It was exactly what I was needing to hear for the challenges I have been facing lately. It seems more and more as if I am losing my life, losing the me I have been trying so hard to work for. Yet, as I sit and look at that life that I have come to know and desire, I see that I truly don’t want it. I don’t truly desire it.
But even with that thought and realization it doesn’t make life any easier. Doesn’t make the pain I feel physically or emotionally go away.

This past weekend has been very hard on me, and though I don’t feel like going into any detail, right now. One passage from the book of Matthew keeps appearing in my mind.

Matthew 6:25 - “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life…”

Matthew 6:27 – “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

Though I know the verses continues on to talk about clothing and food. I feel like I have to keep reminding myself not to worry about my life – about myself physically or emotionally. That God will take care of me. Verse 6:26 says, “Are you not much more valuable than they [the birds]?” I have to keep reminding myself that I am valuable to God. That if I am within His will I will be alright. He will see to my happiness.

Yet that adds yet more worry to my mind. Am I within His will? Pastor Jeff mentioned a system of trying to figure out if you were or not for choices, major choices within your life. And I’ve found that it works with most things. Some such as a path you are currently on, it’s not so good with helping you determined. Which is all fine and dandy if you weren’t like me and a worry-wart.

I keep having to rephrase the verse, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” to “Who of you by worrying can add a single moment of happiness to your life?” For I find when I worry, I am not happy and there for just lost yet another moment of happiness.

I try too not to worry about my past decisions. For even if they can be changed, I do not want to worry and regret them. If they are supposed to be changed, I am trying to trust in God to tell me. To show me that I need to now reverse something that I have done and continue on from there (cause technically you cannot reverse anything in life).

~ by Joy on March 11, 2008.