Lose Your Life To Find It
It seems more and more, as I read from my Bible and of words from those seeking after God that one must surrender all to follow Him – to really serve Him in all His glory. I don’t know why, but it has never been so clear to me, until now, this surrender.
The surrender of everything I have ever known. I’ve told Him I am willing, now He is calling me to that.
It’s hard to give up the people in your life, your family and friends. Yet the surge of faith that wells up in my heart tells me that I will be alright. That as long as I am doing God’s will, I will have more then my little heart can desire (for me that seems hard to believe, yet I do know that it’s true).
For Jesus says in Matthew 10:39: “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
I can’t wait to find the life He has for me.
Yet, I understand that none of this will be easy. I know I will cry my heart out. That I will not want to do God’s will because it is hard and that I will be miserable at times. But, I understand too that no matter what happens God will be with me. That he will be the one I should fall back on.
And though as I sit back and read this entry, I know it sounds like I am just understand these things for the first time. And that is seems like I am swept up in a Bible story-book tale. I do understand.
I am not throwing my life away to follow God. I know, I may never be rich or famous, like any girl my age might imagine. But I don’t care about those things anymore, not truly. A girl can keep her daydreams, yet that’s all they’ll be unless God says otherwise.
I used to sing that song “Anything, I would give up for You. Anything, I’d give it all away”, and I would ask myself “would I, really?” I let myself “go there” in my mind, which was a stretch and taboo because I’m such a positive thinker. One by one, I gave it all away mentally, for His sake.
I won’t go into how I have strived my entire life for one thing – financial security. I have a beautiful home and two dogs that let me hug them on occation, and I have joy every day. But this month, I face financial ruin, the cumulation of 3 years hard work and my entire life’s savings.
About a month ago, God dropped my life’s purpose in my lap. Never, ever in my wildest dreams would I have imagined such a wonderful thing – a purpose that uses my talents for His glory, and something that brings me such overwhelming joy I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming!
I wanted to submit this comment so that you will know that very, VERY recently, I felt the same why you do. That, since God’s plan didn’t consult with my plan, it was going to be something I might not want or even like. That I would have to suffer and experience more pain, for His sake. I had already suffered so much… The thought was hard to take.
But I pressed on to a newer and stronger relationship with Him, and never, in my most fantastic imaginings would I have come up with what He has chosen for me. All that dread I had – what a waste of thought! So get in, let go, and enjoy the ride! It’s the adventure of a lifetime!